I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize