"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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