So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
