when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
