I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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