She said her name was "party"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
