I wannas sexs uuuuu
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
