like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
