took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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