they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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