Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
