god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
