my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
