then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
