I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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