My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
