maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
