"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
