Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
