I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
