More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
