I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
