I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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