Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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