My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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