at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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