are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
