this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
