don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
