eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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