i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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