U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
