You really coming over, don't trick.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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