the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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