She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
