I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
