I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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