I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
