on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
