She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
