i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
