Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
