i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
