I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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