And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
