At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
