just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
