Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
