By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
