Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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