sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
