bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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