so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
