Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
