Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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