The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
soo... how was my night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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