what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize