i may or may not be watching the land before time
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
