I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
