Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
