Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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