the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
