So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
