another moral hangover. fuck.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
40s are totally the cure
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
